12 Days of Tasertricks
by coolios
Summary: Tony, having grown up without spending Christmas with his family, decides to go all out this year. Birds, mechanized turtles, singing and fluff. ((Team-fic but Loki/Darcy central. Updating once a day until the 23rd!))
1. Chapter 1

******1. A Partridge by a Pear Tree.**

Darcy's eyes widened as she stepped into the recreation room of Stark Tower. Instead the usual clutter, the room was cleared out and in the middle, was a potted plant with a bird lying next to it. "Very funny, Tony," she called out as she slowly approached the plant and bird. The Partridge woke up and squawked loudly. "Sorry, sorry!" she said, taking a couple of steps back.

"What in the realms is that?" Loki spluttered as he stepped into the room, eyes on the bird, which was now making its way around the room, cocking its head under the couches and tables.

"A partridge by a pear tree," Darcy replied, an amused expression on her face.

Loki regarded her with a confused expression.

"You know, that song?" she asked. "On the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree," she sang. "Oh my god, you don't know. Well, I'm not going to spoil your fun."

"Fun?"

"Trust me, Tony has plans. No childhood, no fond Christmas memories. It's in all the movies," Darcy explained. "Hey, I'm gonna go downstairs to grab some breakfast, I'll see you around, Loki." She turned around, casting one last look at the bird before walking out of the room.

. Loki followed her with his gaze, eyes trailing over the bun that her hair was piled into, the green sweater that hugged her body in all the right places and her bottom, which looked like they were made to be in a pair of jeans.

Loki quickly shook his head and averted his gaze. Behind him, the partridge squawked as it's head got trapped between two chairs. "Stupid bird," he muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

**2. Two Turtles.**

"Mechanized Turtles?" Darcy asked, looking up from her book. In front of her, sat a couple of red and green 6 ft long, 3ft tall turtles.

"I had a turtle for a day when I was 7," Tony replied. "Died. It was a tragedy." He gestured towards the Mechanized Turtles. "These can't die and can talk. Way smart, much more fun."

Darcy put down her book and raised an eyebrow at Tony. "Talk?"

"Oh, yeah, totally," Tony said. "Pet it, go ahead."

She looked at the blinking robot in front of her before slowly lowering herself and patting it's head lightly.

The robot immediately sprang to life, spinning and singing "Jingle Bell Rock".

Darcy jumped back and yelped, clutching her book to her chest.

Tony shook his head and chuckled. "All right, down boy."

"What's going on?" Loki cried, sticking his head through the door.

"Nothing, nothing. Tony just demonstrating his newest toy."

Loki smiled, his eyes softening as he approached Darcy. "And what are these? An animal? a fierce beast?" He said in a teasing voice.

"Turtles," Darcy replied, tilting her head towards Loki. "Phase deux of Tony's 'I didn't have a childhood so I'm going to milk the shit out of the holiday season' plan."

Loki chuckled and shook his head, taking a seat beside Darcy.

"I mean," Darcy reached down and petted the turtle. Flinching again when it began to spin and sing. "It's kinda cute?"

"Hardly," Loki scoffed. "You've yet to see Space bears and Oods and Kullinkambi," he said, grinning broadly,

"Sounds dangerous,"

Loki shrugged. "A little, but worth it."

Darcy smiled back, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching. She leaned over and lightly punched Loki's shoulder.

"Get a room," Tony said. Darcy reached over and pulled on Tony's earlobe. "Ah! Let me go, okay, okay, no ear pinching, oh god," He stood up and rubbed his ear. "Use this room," he muttered before stepping out the door.

"So," Darcy said, dragging it out. She slowly shuffled closer towards Loki, knees knocking against each other.

Loki looked over at her, unsure of what to say. He looked down at their knees before quickly moving his leg to cross over the other. He felt himself burn up. Loki coughed as he sat up a bit straighter and tapped his fingers on his knee, slowly regaining his composure. "I will, erm, leave you to your reading," he muttered, standing up.

"Bye?" Darcy called out as Loki stepped out the door. "Well, it's just us, robo-turtles."

"Just us," The two turtles repeated as they lit up, before shorting out and sending sparks flying.


	3. Chapter 3

**3. Three French Hens.**

"Okay, what the actual fuck, Stark?" Clint said as he walked into the shared kitchen. "Am I still asleep, or are there a bunch of chickens walking around?"  
"It's real," Darcy replied, taking a bite out of a muffin. "Don't know if you've noticed, but Tony's been bringing in animals like he's Noah or somethin'."  
Clint nodded, picking up a muffin himself. "Yeah, saw the partridge the other day,"  
"This is fun, isn't it?" Tony asked, pulling apple juice out of the fridge. "I mean, Chickens!"  
"We're not having chicken for dinner, Stark," Clint said firmly.  
"Wouldn't want to eat a brother," Darcy retorted, smirking. Clint rolled his eyes and tossed his muffin paper into the trash.  
"Morning, Princess," Clint sang as Loki walked into the kitchen, scratching his neck. He took a seat opposite Darcy and grabbed a muffin. He pulled out the cranberries and left them on the table before biting into the muffin. Beside him, a chicken flapped it's wings and landed on the table.  
"Ah!" Loki shouted, backing up. "Why are there birds?"  
"Christmas," Darcy replied, reaching across the table, picked up the discarded cranberries and popped them into her mouth. "What'd the cranberries do to you?" she asked.  
"Too sweet for my liking," he replied, grabbing another muffin. Loki dug the cranberries out again and handed them to Darcy. She accepted them gratefully and plopped them into her mouth.  
Loki watched as Darcy made her way to the cupboard, stood up on her tippy-toes and grabbed a box of Frosted Flakes. He felt himself flush as she walked past him to the fridge. He watched as Clint tossed a muffin paper at her. And he watched as she rolled her eyes and laughed, tilting her head back.  
Loki quickly looked away and focussed on his muffin. To his surprise, a chicken had begun pecking at it and was clucking in delight. He sighed. "You're welcome," he mumbled.


End file.
